Rachel1989's Blog

wahey i'm off to leeds festival for the 2nd year running tomorrow
although its gonna start a bit crap cos i have to get the coach there by myself at 12am (seeing as my supposed friend decided to sell her and her sister's tickets without even bothering to tell me) but luckily i'm meeting my university friends who live in nottingham there so it will end up being amazing...specially cos i havent seen them for 3 months, plus i've had a 'thing' with one of her friends since new years eve so tht should be fun lol
but yeah anyway, bbq's, camping, drunkenness, flirting and LOADS AND LOADS OF BANDS for 3 whole days = heaven!! haha

hopefully i will be seeing...

Friday....
-main stage -radio 1 stage -dance arena
mindless self indulgence cajun dance party css
alexisonfire hadouken!
plain white t's pendulum
feeder conor oberst
tenacious d the last shadow puppets
the cribs

Saturday....
-main stage -radio 1 stage -festival republic stage
anti-flag the duke spirit ida maria
taking back sunday (woo) mgmt late of the pier
dizzee rascal vampire weekend does it offend you, yeah?
biffy clyro the wombats
the enemy
queens of the stoneage
rage against the machine

Sunday....
-main stage -radio 1 stage -lock up stage -festival republic stage -bbc introducing stage
the blackout kids in glass houses the gaslight anthem louis xiv the new york fund
the automatic santogold alkaline trio black kids the joy formidable
the subways mystery jets gallows you me at six general fiasco
we are scientists the ting tings all time low attack! attack!
editors foals the audition fox cubs
bloc party bullet for my valentine
the killers (woo)

so yeah gonna overdose on music me thinks woop lol
such a good mix of bands this year, especially on sunday when i'll just spend all day running from tent to tent :)

so yeah, this time tomorrow i'll be sat round a campfire most likely extremely drunk off cider and vodka n redbull haha

funnnnnnnn :D

xxx

firstly i have decided that every friday i'm going to put a music video on here of my favourite song that week. ya know the one tune that you can't stop listening to, is in your head constantly, the one that you repeat 10 times in a row much to the annoyance of everyone around you lol. so yeah, just thought it would be a good way of sharing awesome bands and songs that i heart and whom you may or may not have heard of :D

secondly, i must apologize for the lack of fanficness. i know id said i was starting to write it again and since the 2 chapters i posted then i havent produced anything else but i promise im gonna try and write another 2 chapters tomorrow. my lack of writing was simply down to being busy having one last catch up with my friends at uni before i came home for the summer, going to see say anything on the saturday (which was absolutely amazing btw! the venue; manchester academy 3, was so small that when people crowd surfed they'd land onstage. so tonnes of people were dancing, singing and hugging max bemis before security made them get off haha. theyre deffo my fave band at the minute!!! luv' em!! the only downside was that after the gig that id gone to with my boyfriend he dumped me. (the day before i went home might i add) so yeah i wasnt in the mood this week to write anything romantic.
but yeah fingers crossed 2morrow i should write something :)

cheers guys
xx<3xx

Rachel's pov...

A few seconds later Tony and I slowly pulled away from each other and just stood there grinning.

"Soooo..." Tony spoke first, his eyes sparkling mischievously "does that mean what I think it means?"

I blushed slightly and my grin grew wider "I guess it does."

...And at this moment in time I actually did think that. Because even though I may have been initially disappointed about being basically rejected by Adam, it was obviously just because no one likes hearing that some one doesn't fancy them; I mean, even if you don't like that person either its still nice to think that people find you attractive, which must have been why I'd felt so sad when I'd heard that he said he only thought of me as a friend.

But now I had Tony! And, if the way that kiss had made me feel was anything to go by, then I definitely liked him as more than a mate and possibly it was something even deeper than just an attraction. I mean, if you can't love a guy who you've known since you were 5, who knows everything about you; including your many flaws, and yet still loves you, not to mention the fact that he was extremely good looking (in a different way than Adam; more cute, 'alternative' emo kid with his lip ring and low three quarter length camouflage shorts, rather than the former's more tall, dark, handsome stranger look about him)...then who can you love?!...

His smile grew even wider as he took my hands in his "You actually love me?" he questioned, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

I paused; however sure I was that I wanted to be with him I still didn't feel ready to say those three magic words 'I-Love-You,' so not wanting to hurt him I quickly just changed the subject; avoiding answering altogether..."We're just gonna take things slow, right?!" I said quickly.

He nodded, his expression sincere "Of course Rach! I know its a big step to take going from friendship to - to - to, well, this! Especially when you've known each other as long as we have, and I don't want to risk messing anything up."

"After all, we've got the next two months to get used to it." I reasoned.

At this Tony pulled me towards him "I was kinda hoping we'd have more than just these two months to get used to it...more like the rest of our lives" he softly whispered before kissing me once again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adam's pov...

I couldn't believe what I'd got myself into!

It seemed that, due to that brief moment of insanity where I'd kissed Kelly instead of setting things straight just because I was feeling miserable about the whole Rachel situation, she'd now got it into her head that we were a couple.

After we'd stopped making out she'd put her hand on mine and gave me a huge smile "I just know we're going to be sooo great together!" she giggled, giving my hand a quick squeeze.

I couldn't bring myself to speak so I just sat there staring back at her, but she didn't seem to notice seeing as she simply give me a quick kiss on the lips before jumping up and exclaiming "Aah who knew that I'd bag myself such an amazing and gorgeous boyfriend on the first day of the tour?!"

All I could do was smile weakly back at her...I mean, what else was I supposed to do?

"You coming in to join the others?" she asked, gesturing towards the door.

I managed a small nod "Erm yeah in a second"

"Okay, well I'll see you in there then"

I nodded again, but then just as she was about to disappear out the door I suddenly called her name. She stopped and peered her head round the door frame "Yeah?" she asked, a smirk on her face as she must have assumed I wanted more 'alone' time with her.

"Erm Kelly dya mind if we just keep this...us...to ourselves for the time being just cause things are complicated enough on tour without people scrutinizing your relationships." As I said this I saw her face fall in disappointment, which made me feel bad but I just needed time to work out how to handle this situation.

"Oh, er, yeah sure" she replied, her voice not quite as loud and happy as it had been a second ago.

"Thanks"

There was an awkward pause before she said "Is that it?"

"Yeah" I nodded. She gave a small nod back before totally disappearing into the other room to join the rest of our fellow band mates.

Once she was gone I gave a huge sigh. This was ridiculous! It now seemed I was in a relationship with some one without me even realizing. But I guess I can see why she'd assumed that; seeing as I did after all kiss her (even though in reality it was just me trying to push the thought of Rachel and Tony kissing out of my head), AND she'd already been told by Rachel that I really liked her (even though that too was just crossed wires) ...but understanding how she'd misread the whole thing didn't help my situation in the slightest!

I mean, here I was with a girl I'd 'accidentally' started going out with, whilst the girl I actually had feelings for was in the other room playing tonsil-hockey with her best friend, Tony. I suppose there was the chance that I would discover that I actually 'liked' Kelly and would be happy with her, but at this moment in time that seemed highly unlikely!

Argh, what on earth was I going to do???

Rachel's pov...

Once off the stage I began to run, I didn't know where, all I knew was I needed to get away from there, from this place, from them, from him! Meanwhile all that kept running through my mind was I couldn't believe he'd do something like this to me. Was he so mad about me not wanting to let him in my life that he felt the need to humiliate me?!

Finally, after about 10 minutes I stopped, finding myself outside the venue, a cool breezing blowing in the air. Thankful that the concert hadn't finished yet because it meant that there was no one around and no noise except the sound of cars and the distant thudding from the music inside, I lowered myself onto the curb; pulling my hood up before hugging my knees to my chest as a few stray tears made their journey down my cheeks.

...How was I going to be able to handle three weeks of, what was now obviously intended to be, torture? But what choice did I have?! It was either this or losing my job, and quite frankly I wasn't going to give Jared the satisfaction. It was simple! I was just gonna have to ride it out and write the best article of my life to wipe the smile off his face.

At this thought a quiet laugh escaped my mouth and I defiantly wiped away the tears; as if only about 45 minutes ago I'd been discussing with Kelly the possibility of actually being with Jared, of trusting him. I could only thank god that I'd never actually revealed my feelings to him cos the hurt he could have caused me then would have been immense...In fact, just thinking of what he could I have done with that information wasn't bare thinking about!

As I sat there with all these thoughts in my head, I became aware of some one sitting themselves down next to me. I didn't acknowledge their presence, hoping that they would realise I didn't want company and so would leave me alone. But no such luck, because I felt the person squeeze my arm and a male voice say "I'm sorry about my brother."

A sigh escaped my lips...I guess I must have lost track of time as it appeared the concert had finished "Why are you sorry?" I asked, turning my head slightly so I could see Shannon's apologetic face. "It's not your fault your little brother is a dick, is it?!" I stated, before it occurring to me that this was Jared's big brother I was talking to, therefore not the person I should be bad mouthing him to, and so I quickly began to back track "...Uh I mean - well, not a dick exactly - uh, just ya know-"

Shannon raised his hand up to silence me "It's fine!" he laughed "He may be my brother but even I know when he's acted like a prat. And tonight he definitely acted like one of those!...Oh and just so you know, I told him that making you go onstage like that without any prior warning or whatever, was a bad idea but he wouldn't listen."

I nodded "Yeah I figured. Thanks for trying anyway."

He gave a small shrug "No problem."

A short silence ensued before he spoke again "...Listen, Rach."

"Yeah?"

"I know this is none of my business, but Jared really isn't a bad guy"...I rolled my eyes..."Oi, don't roll your eyes!" he laughed "I'm serious! He may do a lot of stupid things...tonight being a fantastic example...but his hearts in the right place."

"You would say that" I stated sceptically.

Shannon grabbed my arm and pulled me round so that I was fully facing him "Now listen to me!" he said sternly "the only reason Jared has been doing these things is because he's trying to impress you. Ever since you interviewed us that time he hasn't shut up about you. He told me about what he'd said at the bar that night, and he told me about what happened when he turned up at your work, and then you're apartment; so I can understand why you're so suspicious of him and his motives, but honestly, it's just because he likes you so much. I know he doesn't have the best way of showing he cares but he does!"

I gave an unconvinced snort "Hmm thats funny, he and my friend said exactly the same thing."

"Well its because its true."

"Well thats nice and everything, but as I said to them and as I'm going to say to you, I don't care...no offence" I quickly added at the end. "Now, if you'll excuse me I better get back to my job as a journalist, and actually do some writing" I said standing up.

Shannon looked at me in a kind of disbelief "Wow he was right!"

"Right about what?" I asked, puzzled.

"Right that you're different from any other girl he's met before!...I mean this has to possibly be the first, and probably the last, time that Mr Jared Leto the hollywood movie star and lead singer of a successful American rock band has ever been turned down by a girl!...And I salute you for that!" he laughed.

I looked at him dumbfounded "I still don't understand."

"Rach, when you're in the position my little brother is in, you get women throwing themselves at you, even if they don't fancy you; just because they think that they might be able to get their 15 minutes of fame just by being seen with him."

"Oh no, women throwing themselves at him. However does he cope?!" I said sarcastically, shaking my head.

"Hey, he's been hurt because of it!" Shannon retorted, his voice slightly harsher than before. "I don't think you realise what its like to really like some one, maybe even falling in love with them, only to find out that they're using you to further their careers!"

I stopped shaking my head and looked at him feeling slightly bad about being so quick to judge "Oh" I said quietly, looking down at my feet "I never thought of that."

"Yeah people don't" said another man's voice from behind us.

wow its been like 9 months since i actually wrote anything for the taking back sunday and 30 seconds to mars fanfics i'd been writing and im realllllly sorry but being at uni just meant that i didnt have any time to do it.
to be honest i actually thought i was done with writing them but then all of a sudden ive gotten the urge to start writing them again. i dunno if anyone actually cares or whether anyone will actually read them but i dont care i just feel like i need to finish them seeing as i always used to hate it when people on here used to suddenly stop half way through stories.
anyway here's chapter 13 of A Beautiful Lie and chapter 14 of You're So Last Summer...if you need to recap what was actually going on or you actually just wanna start reading them from the beginning then go back to my blogs from i think february or march last year :)
enjoy!
xx<3xx

argh i can't wait till the 11th/12th may because i'm going to the give it a name festival in sheffield for the weekend with a few of my mates...its gonna be awesome!!! :]
The line-up is...

SATURDAY:
Main Stage:-
30 seconds to mars
billy talent
glassjaw
silverstein
the blackout
strike anywhere
envy on the coast

Second Stage:-
anti-flag
armor for sleep
you me at six
state radio
the color fred
four year strong

SUNDAY:
Main Stage:-
paramore
plain white t's
alkaline trio
finch
set your goals
cobra starship
chiodos

Second Stage:-
the audition
all time low
my american heart
mayday parade
meg & dia
broadway calls

so yeah, as you can see its gonna be pretty sweeet!! :D especially seeing as i love practically every single band playing. its just a shame i have a university exam on the tuesday after, i thought it was on monday morning at one point which would have meant i cudnt go to the festival but luckily its not!
roll on may! m/

Oh my god!!! i have just experienced my first ever earthquake...in manchester, England haha. i was just sat in bed reading when all of a sudden my bed started shaking. at first i thought it was the flat upstairs banging but then i was like hmmm i dnt think that would physically move my bed lol
anyway, now im hyper and slightly freaked out, and theres no way on earth im gonna be able to get to sleep even though its 2.03am and i have to get up in 5 and a half hours grrr
i probably should stop txting my friends in all the xcitement cos tht might help me get to sleep lol

hmmm trying to finish off sn essy for uni 2morrow whislt drunk....not s gd idea!
...plus ink has ran out in the printer!! argyhhyy

literally just got back from seeing 30 seconds to mars and it was sooooo amazing!!!...
they played all my fave songs...(in no particular order and as far as i can remember so there might be some errors and i might have left some out)...

Attack
A Beautiful Lie
The Kill
Was It Dream
Savior
From Yesterday
The Story [Acoustic]
R-Evolve
The Battle Of One
Hunter
Capricorn (A Brand New Name) [Acoustic]
Buddha For Mary
Echelon [Acoustic]
The Mission

jared's voice was even better live than it could ever be imagined to be when ure listening to their cds...not to mention the fact that he himself looked frigging amazing. he was wearing a long trade mark coat and underneath black skinny trousers and a white shirt; with his hair all slicked black and plenty of his other trademark...eyeliner! then later on, during 'hunter' i think it was, he suddenly produced a trilby all i can say is YUM! haha

but to top off what was already one of the best nights EVER it got even better when it turned out that they were doing a signing straight afterwards (and i know in america bands seem to do that alot but here in britain they never do) so me and my m8 helen stood in the queue and we finally got to meet the band...and man :-P...that i've loved for aggggeeeessss and wanted to meet for agggggggeeesss. the encounter basically consisted of me telling them how awesome the show was, them saying thank you it was alot of fun, them signing my concert ticket, them all giving me high fives, and then me and helen running off grinning like loons haha

so yeah now im sat in my room at uni still buzzing and every so often looking at my posters of jared and 30 seconds to mars which immediately make me squeal ang grin

thats it for now anyway just felt the need to share that cos i'm bursting with excitement and im basically just in a general good mood.
anyway got my next concert on tuesday :D PARAMORE, NEW FOUND GLORY AND KIDS IN GLASS HOUSES yeahhhhh mate!!! ive only been back 3 weeks and already ive seen plain white t's/ boys like girls/ cartel, and obviously 30 seconds to mars 2night...plus ive still got bullet for my valentine, panic at the disco and paramore again as well as the give it a name festival and leeds festival :D

bye for now!
xx<3xx

hell yeah i'm going to see say anything and hellogoodbye tonight at manchester academy can't wait!!! :D